Hello Jennifer,

You wrote this:

I want to believe the truth, something inside me will not allow it to sink in. I can see it but I am afraid. Maybe I need to ask myself why I am so afraid?

Yes, Jenn. That’s fear. The physical realm is based in fear. Nearly everything we do in the physical realm is from the drive for pleasure or to avoid pain. Both result in fear: a fear I won’t get what will make me feel good; a fear of doing what other people won’t like; a fear of being alone; fear, fear, fear. The physical world has its base in fear.

And so the fear will gnaw at you. The only way to end the fear is to end attachment to the physical world. That’s difficult to do because of the fear, but as long as you look for answers and comfort in the physical world, you’ll run into fear. That’s all that’s there.

This is going to require a real commitment on your part, but I believe you’re close to having it. You must die to the physical world. I don’t mean die physically. You have to give up on all of the physical realm. If you do, you’ll come alive to the greater reality where God and all those who have passed away before you are. The basis of the greater reality is love. That’s what you’ll find there.

The real difficulty in letting go of the physical realm is that everyone around you is also attached to it. That’s all you’ve heard about since you were a child, from the schools, from your parents, from your friends, from the media, and even from the church. “Get this thing and you’ll be happy.” “Follow these rules and God will accept you.” “Make more money and you’ll be fulfilled.” Those are all lies. They result in fear. If I don’t have enough money, I can’t live. Fear. If I don’t do what’s right, God won’t like me. Fear. If I don’t have a house of my own, I’m not a good provider for my children. Fear.

When you let go of the physical realm, you have only love. That’s the basis of the spiritual realm. Then you’ll say “I don’t have much money, but I have my daughter. My love for her and her love for me are all I need.” “I don’t need to be anything other than who I am for God to love me. I am loved regardless of what I do or what I am.” Those are messages of love. You are loved no matter what you do or who you are, by God, by your daughter, by everyone in your life at some level even they may not realize. Those who are themselves so caught in the physical realm that they demand that you be what they want and do what they want are doing so because of their fear. They’re caught in the trap of the physical realm. You can’t let their demands mire you into the physical realm. Deep beneath their demands, anger, fear, and harshness is the same love you have deep in you. They just can’t let it out. See their love and try to ignore their fear and harshness. You can watch their love come out when you're tender in the face of their anger; when you're loving in spite of their rejection. They melt when that happens. They soften into love when they don't have to feel fear. That's because the love is at the base of even the most cold, harsh person, and it comes out in the presence of your love that banishes fear.

Eventually, all of humankind will die to the physical realm and be reborn to the spiritual. Love will be the basis for life, not fear. Then it will be easier because other people will support your desire to turn your back on the fear of the physical realm and embrace the love of the spiritual. Right now, when most people are caught up in the physical realm, it’s hard to get support for dying to it.

You asked,

Does it get better? This knot in my stomach is very painful, It goes away when I don't think.. but the more I learn the worse it gets??

Yes, it will get better. You’ll be transformed. You’ll find that the fear goes away and you are content, warm, and loving all the time. You will be reborn to real life. But the dying part is difficult. You have to face the fears when they keep trying to make you come back to the physical realm. You really need others to talk to. You can at least get on this forum and talk, but it would help if you could find a group of people who have love at the center of their discussions.

Don’t give up hope. Keep looking toward the light and not back to the darkness. And read. Reading will help. Many people have taken the journey you’re taking now. Get a copy of Martia Nelson’s Coming Home: The Return to True Self. If you give me your mailing address in a private e-mail to me, I’ll buy a copy and have it sent to you.

You can read a short summary of Martia Nelson's message at this Web address: http://www.martianelson.com/afewwords.html. Her Web site is http://www.martianelson.com.

And always have hope. I promise you that the greater reality is the only reality. The physical reality is harsh and hopeless, full of fear. But it’s an illusion. You’ll break through to the love and peace in the greater reality if you just stay turned toward the light. And the light is inside you. It’s shining right now if you go there and look. Go there often.

Love and peace, Craig