: Merry Meet, Craig, and anyone else who happens across this rant.: Well, I'm back. (I was "Ted" from the old greaterreality forum.) And I have something to say about the year and a half or so since the old forum closed.
: I ran into several dead ends with regards to my spiritual journey the past couple of years.
The single biggest hurdle I've had to overcome is my own tendency to take my spiritual fire, draw a spreadsheet over it and try and rationalize it. I've been running on an empty tank for the past few months now because I tried to satiate my inner hunger with a type of scientifically minded research that is so completely out of place. I've been going through books and websites on Wicca, Qabalah, Celtic mythology, astrology, the paranormal, literary occultism, you name it, expecting to come across some smartly written chapter or meticulously crafted webpage that would make me go "aha!" and set me off with the kind of momentum that sent me to this site many moons ago. Of course, it was only recently that I realized that learning about the history of Theosophy or Freemasonry or learning debating points defending parapsychology is no substitute for the spiritual experience that we all seek. (I urge this caution unto other empiricially-minded people, who are well represented in the urban-elite online community including this one.) Other obstacles include just plain apathy on my part, and my lack of complete self-direction in attending certain events and such as a minor (as soon I'm 18, as soon as I'm 18...).
: Now I'm back to square one, but all this "find the God/Goddess/Energy/Spirit Guide" within you" stuff is quite confusing to me. I'm not entirely sure what I'm supposed to do or think or believe to make this happen. Is meditating the answer? Taking things slowly? Getting rid of desire? (That last one may have been fine and dandy to Buddha, but yours truly found it self defeating. All it does is create a multitude of nagging, guilty feelings that are far more harmful than desire ever could be.) I'd love it if someone here could give me something solid to latch to here, because so far all I've come across is incomprehensible, tautological periphrasis from New Age gurus and self help authors that I find impossible to set into motion within my own means.
: Blessed Be
Hey there,
How about this for an angle my friend...
you explained "The single biggest hurdle I've had to overcome is my own tendency to take my spiritual fire, draw a spreadsheet over it and try and rationalize it.
Does this mean you need to plan for everything as or before you do it...try to understand something to the depth of no return?
Does it mean you have dug a hole so deep with in yourself and forgot the latter... is that how you spell that or is it ladder??
Or do you just change this as you go rationalize your reality to your truth making changes as you go along.???
Either way there is something I think to myself to help me stay on track when the kaos is horrific and the delays are long...
Free will is the only universal understanding, Free will is the right to chose to lift your arm for a mug a beer, yell at your boss cause he pissed you off, chose to feel offended by something said to you, chose to be sad and of course chose to exist.
Wheather or not your path or ride on this rollercoaster is boring or torture you stood in line and always have to wait your turn.
Maybe Am I way off?? Knowing I make all the choses in my life helps me to understand how much of it I control, sometimes I have to chose to follow a path already treaded on but It is always temporary.
your fellow thinker
Jennifer
