I think life is hard. Too hard sometimes. Lines become blurred. There are times when we may think we are doing the right thing when, in fact, we really are not.

Take for instance my uncle. This guy likes to stay as drunk as he can as often as he can get away with it. He drinks until he passes out, and when he wakes up, begins drinking again. Am I obligated to help him?

Same guy, twist of the situation. This uncle and I were raised by the same people. I became the baby in the family as he was in his mid teens. He resents that I was born. I was the worst thing that could happen to him, for many reasons. My life is the epitome of all that is evil, and I am the vain of his existence.

I have no doubt in my mind that he hates me. No matter what I do, it just becomes one more reason to be annoyed by me. Like I am rubbing something in his face. He loves it when I fall. He cheers up when he learns what a sinner I am. Because then he can go to everyone and say, "Hey, do you know what Joe did."

So do I try to help him? Or do I let him die in one of his drunken stupors. And if I let him die, do I really love my brother/uncle? Or am I just doing what is most conveniant?

On one hand, I could embrace my messiah complex and try to pull him from the edge. Though chances are he would just tumble forward while trying to resist me.

Or, I could just let life run its course. So what if he dies in a horrible explosion. So what if I saw all the signs leading up to it. He is responsible for his own life, his own decisions, no matter how blind he is to what's up ahead. I'm not God. I don't know how to deal with this situation. Maybe he needs to learn something in this life that will make him better in the next, right?

I recently read a story about the Bhuda. It was his moment in the wilderness, when his own devils came home to roost. In order to be free of the restraints of this world, the cycles of life and death, he had to come to a place where he was not affected by everything around him. He refused to react, to be manipulated into an action, by the devils that tried to scare him, push him, into doing something.

He succeeded. He reached enlightenment. And at that point, he could have gone on to what ever was ahead. But instead of entering heaven, nirvana, what have you, he chose to stay. Instead of abandoning the world, he chose to release the prisoners from their prisons, to set people free from their own personal hells.

So once again I wonder...do I let my brother burn? Or do I find a way to set him free from this cycle of life and death? Despite the jealosy, the resentments, the burdens of our youth...can we let those things go and meet on common ground from which we both can become enlightened? Because if we can, perhaps we can leave this place together.