Hi Bob,You wrote,
about a month ago I had a very vivid dream. I was awakened by water running in the bathroom. When I opened the door, she was at the sink removing her makeup. I was startled and began hugging her and asking where she had been all this time. She said what do you mean, I was at work, and then had a few erands to run. She seemed surprised by my demeanor and asked why I seemed so upset. I told her what had happened to her, and she said wow, what is wrong with you? She was in total disbelief.
We have at least three types of dreams: (1) dreams that are the mind creating experiences and dramas from imagination, (2) vivid dreams that we’re sure were communications with loved ones on the other side, and (3) dreams we don’t remember in which we actually visit those who have crossed over and spend time with them. I’ll explain those to answer your questions.
1. Dreams that the mind creating experiences and dramas from imagination.
The mind has a wonderful capability of making wholes or consistent stories out of fragments. We know that people have change blindness, meaning when things change in the environment, unless we’re actually focusing on the one thing that changes, we won’t see the other changes. Fascinating experiments have been done in which people are watching videos and the background changes, the clothing someone who was out of camera for a moment changes, furniture changes. But the people watching don’t notice any of it. In other words, the details of a scene aren’t in the person’s perception. What happens is that we fill in everything we’re not noticing to make a complete picture or a complete experience.
When we’re having a dream that uses imagination, the dream begins with some real things running through the mind, such as the trip we’re going to take in a few days, and then starts filling in details that join with the previous experience, but may be completely off the wall: you see an airplane and that takes your imagination to being on a bus going to the airport and that takes you to going to school on a bus and on and on. Without the left-brain control of consciousness, the imagination takes you where it wants to go.
2. Vivid dreams that we’re sure were communications with loved ones on the other side.
These are vivid and memorable involving your loved one, but you also have the clear conviction it was a real experience with your loved one. You have a current conversation or experience, not a memory or an old set of circumstances. You’re having the experience of the loved one living now. You felt your dream was vivid, but it wasn’t contemporary and you couldn’t engage in a dialogue. You’re not sure it was a real contact and you didn’t feel there was any message, symbolic or otherwise. It didn’t seem to fit the criteria for being an after-death communication, but it did fit the criteria for simply being a dream.
3. Dreams we don’t remember in which we actually visit those who have crossed over and spend time with them.
Those who have spoken in séances from the afterlife frequently describe their loved ones coming to them during the dream state, but not remembering the visits. It seems this is pretty common.
I don’t have any sense that your dream was an after-death visitation as in a conversation with her, but it very possibly could have been a dream influenced by her to let you know she's fine. The feeling would have come from her, but not the words or the scene.
You wrote,
I am concerned that she may be stuck in between here and crossing over, and does not realize what has happened.
It is possible for someone not to realize what has happened to them, and they may stay on the Earth plane for a while. However, that’s just a stage, and they do eventually grow out of that. They’re helped by people on the other side to realize they’ve passed away.
Also, if a normal person stays on the Earth plane for awhile, it’s an important step in their growth. Don’t think they’re “stuck” or they should be “guided into the light.” Those are New Agey superstitions. Just as we grow on this side of life after someone passes away, they grow on their side of life to realize they’re on the next plane of life and how to start their next stage of eternal life. Sometimes, a person needs to be gently transitioned, and that may happen with family or with guides who help them. It’s always the transition they need.
Also, if someone stays on the Earth plane, it’s usually for a reason. Your wife doesn’t seem to showing why she might still be on the Earth plane. She also shows none of the oddity they feel in the first weeks and months after crossing over. They can see people, but not talk to them. People take no notice of them. If that had been her in the dream, she would have been more surprised that you took notice of her than anything.
I just don’t see that as having been her in the dream.
However, it could have been her giving you a symbolic message. In other words, it could be your dream, but she could be inspiring you as you dream. In that case, the message has to come through your own imagination. If there’s a message in those kinds of symbols, you feel or know them. You were worried, and those kinds of messages don’t come from those on the other side.
You wrote,
There have been a few other episodes. Twice, I have been overcome with a very strong smell of her perfume. I was no where near where her cosmetics are, and both times the smell was isolated to a very small area of the house. The only explanation I have, is that she was visiting.
I would greatly appreciate your opinion on this.
Yes, you have the conviction she was there. That’s important. It’s the key element in knowing she was visiting. The reason is that the “feeling” she was there was inspired—that’s part of what she was giving you. It’s very difficult for those on the next plane of life to communicate with us, and most never do, but they can make small things happen, and they can focus their thoughts on us so we have a “sense” about a message. If you smelled her perfume and had the sense it was her, that’s all the proof you need. Enjoy your new relationship with her. It’s very different, but nonetheless warm and alive. Let yourself experience it and thank her for coming to you. What will make her happiest is when you’re happy. Let her know that.
Love and peace, Craig
