I've always been scared of death; ever since I was a child. I'm only 28 years old, but can't stop thinking about my last hour some days. I really want to believe in an afterlife, and that we continue on somehow, but it is hard. What I wonder about a lot is where was I before I was born? I can't remember it, so did it exist? I guess that should also comfort me a little if there is nothing after death. No awareness of it, so no reason for fear. But since I'm aware now, the fear creeps in.

I guess what is more frightening is dying after a long illness and being aware of the coming end. A sudden death wouldn't be as frightening because you really wouldn't be able to anticipate it.

This brings me back to two years ago when I was coming home from work. I was driving 60 mph down the road with no seat belt on. I came up on an intersection and a guy pulled out in front of me and I hit him going 60 mph. Not even a scratch on my body, which should have been a fatal impact in my opinion! How does one explain this? You see people dying from much less everyday. Did the lack of seat belt actually save my life in this instance, because I've heard that the sudden impact into a seat belt can do all kinds of horrible things to your insides. Was impacting the air bag a better choice, one made by total accident?

Sorry for the rambling, just a lot on my mind, and would love to figure this all out. How is the time determined that we leave our physical body? How can you be sure it's not the end and how long can you retain your memories before they are wiped? Or was our mind created before this physical life and that's why we can't remember before our births?