Merry Meet, Jenn and Craig.

Jenn, if you don't know where to start looking, start with people; that's my advice. Start looking for others who share similar convictions. Being able to ask a personal question face to face to someone you trust and getting no answer is in the end infinitely more worthwhile than receiving a clear answer from some faceless pop psychology book or internet FAQ.
You and I share the same problem. It is the reason, I feel, that we can never quite seem to find what we are looking for. Admittedly, I couldn't quite understand all that you said, but I can at least pick up the angst, restlessness, and uncertainty with which I have become all too familiar with. I think we are just bored with our lives. We don't find what we are looking for, because we don't really expect to. We just like looking, because as you put it, the search is fun. We hurl ourselves into a position where we're confused and disoriented because there is something we fear more about acquiescing to the norm than we do our present states. To alleviate this, I think we need to broaden our scope. Tell me if this describes you in any way.
Craig, to answer your question, I don't think having any one of those experiences would actually make me feel any better in the long run. My boredom (yes, I'll call it that now) runs deeper. I feel now as if I'm exemplifying what New Agers critique traditional medical practices for; treating only the particular illness or injury and ignoring the greater needs of the patient as a whole. I need to broaden my scope and try to overhaul my entire lifestyle and try something new, rather than just trying to stick more fingers into the flooding dyke. I think I've been into spirituality, subconsciously, because it's intriguing. Auras and demonology and numerology and all that have that cloak and dagger charm that I feel is missing in my own life. Spirituality will be more important to me now more than ever, but through forms I haven't yet been looking for. I have also come to grips with the realization that you can't use reason your way through life. Reason solves brainteasers and builds spaceships. It doesn't make you happy.
All right, the above wasn't term paper standard or anything, but I've found the words to express what I wanted to express for a long time, and I hope it shows. Does anyone else share my thoughts?

Blessed Be